Why I Jumped Off a Bridge

I want to start by saying that I survived. If that bugs you, stop reading now. It has a happy ending.

I also want to mention that while I am not kidding, I am also not suicidal.

And third: I had two cups of coffee. I spent most of the day skipping in the pouring rain singing scales. I was the happiest car washer in the US, and probably the world. I didn't check into Canada, though.

So anyway, I was washing this van that I'll call . . . #987.

The City of Lacey does not have a truck #987! And he's not even a truck! I am making this up to protect its identity!

Anyway, I had thought that #987 was going to be a quick two-hour job. No such luck. Today was the first day of the rainy season here, and it's been pouring all day. This means the trees were sheding like crazy. And it was covered in sap. It took me well over an hour to get the outside done, and I wasn't really finished. But I had half an hour til break, so I began vaccuming the truck. That's when I noticed that the insides were mud clad.

No problem, says I. I won't wash the insides. It's not like the driver will notice. Actually . . . okay, I'd do it, but it would take me the rest of the day.

Content with the idea, I opened the passenger door, and almost began banging my head into the nearest concreate wall. Not only was it mud clad, but it had coffee stains, chloride stains AND MORE stuck inside.

My hopes quickly sank. This was more than two hours work. This would take DAYS! I let out a blood-curling scream.

Which scared the heck out of "Shard." Same deal. He needed me to move #987 so that he could get on the rack. No big deal, I guess, but that truck's hard to back up, to the point that I had to go forward.

Anyway, I go into the shop about ten minuets early to break. I tell Harry: "How about I finished #987 tomorrow? I can take it back after break and grab #986."

"Wait--what? You want to take this one back and finish it tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Okay." (I was suprised he so readily agreed.)

"Good. Because otherwise I would have had to jump off a bridge."

On my way out after break I called over my shoulder "If I'm not back by 4:30, call the police." Harry gave me a weird look, but I thought nothing of it. I often say that, in case I get kidnapped at City Hall. Beware ALL kidnappers! They will notice I'm gone! I've trained them well! I didn't realize how that sounded with the threat I'd previously made.

So I explained when I got back. While I was entirely serious in my threat, I was exagerating. I would really have just hit my head until I passed out, which my niece has been known to do.

Huh

I thought I would have plenty time to post today, since school's out for week, but I don't. Huh. Instead of spending hours on-line, I played with my niece. Hope you don't mind too much.

Anyway, here's what you can look forward to . . .

• A post about microwaves, thanks to Crouching Tiger's post about the Jetson's. (I wrote this one, but it got deleted when I was uploading it . . .)
• A post about my day at work . . . and how I almost jumped off a bridge.
• Rider's CIS. I promise to have this by next weekend.
• Any requests . . .?

Orion's CIS

Played by: Roo
Character Name: Orion (sometimes called “Onion” by her tribesmates, esp. Rider)
City she's from: Lakey City
Where she was when the Haze rolled in: Lakey City Shop
Gender: Female
Age: 19

Mother: Deena (presumed evactuated)
Father: Mars (presumed evactuated)
Siblings: Mimmie, 18 (presumed evactuated)
Other relatives: Kiah, 3 (niece, presumed evactuated)
Boy/girlfriend: None
Spouse: None
Friends: Rider (from work)

Personality: In the belonging times, Orion was often described as “always smiling, always minding her own business.”
Likes: Cool weather (not cold), rain, being alone, listening to conversations
Dislikes: Hot weather, snow, cooking
Fears: Finding her family dead.
History:

Belonging times: Orion was the first daughter of Deena and Mars. She was named by her father after his favorite constellation. Many people called her “(Little) Onion,” because of frequent misspellings when people weren’t paying attention. Her history is largely unknown because she rarely spoke of anything before she came to work for the City. She got her job washing cars about six months before the Haze came.

New Times: When the Haze hit, she first noticed the crashing cars. Begged her boss to go home, but he thought it was too dangerous. In the days that followed, she spent a bit of time up on the roof watching lines and lines of evacuating cars get gas. When her boss died, Rider let her go home. She walked. Found a note that said, “God be with you” from her father. She was almost rescued by one of the last helicopters, but she let a women go with her children instead. She then began stocking up for the New Times (as she called them). A couple of days later, she needed a certain tool that she decided to get from the shop. She found Rider near death, and took him home to nurse him back to health. During this time, she went to his house and found his wife dead. She also rescued his cows, Steakhouse and Hamburger.

Skills/Hobbies: Orion became quite adept at hunting. She also likes to play her flute and “looting.”
Position: She is the main hunter.

Build/Height: 110 lbs in the Belonging Times, about 5’6”.
Eyes: Ocean blue
Hair: Shoulder-length dirty blond hair, pulled back in a pony tale.
Distinguishing marks: Lots of scars on her arms and legs from the Belonging Times.
Clothes:
~Summer: a thin long-sleeved shirt and jeans. Hunting boots.
~Winter: varying number of long-sleeved, short-sleeved and sweat shirts. (up to five). Wears long-johns and sometimes leggings. Hunting boots.
Color Scheme: Camouflage colors. Also reds, when she wants to look nice.
Jewelry: Hairband around her wrist, a watch
Weapons/Tools: A bow and quiver, a knife, and a gun (for protection only).

Quote: “What the Hell kind of idiot . . .”

Character created by Roo (TheMaskedCokie@yahoo.com, starryprincessglitterpuff@yahoo.com)

An RPG, or a Story?

I've been working on this end of the world story for awhile, and am considering making it into an RPG. What does everybody think?

Update

Yes! I updated my template! I added a "Blogs I've Noticed" list underneith Links. This is the only proof I have that I am learning HTML.

I've been reading this cool book about the end of the world called Earth Abides. It's one of them thick paper backs with really teeny print. But it's got lots of cool notes about what would happen if people just suddenly died off.

And to Jim--fine. There are 33,182 people in Lakey.

Gas Prices Reach 10 Dollars a Galleon!

!Not really! Here's what I've found out:

Availblity is what got the people in the West Coast Haze (and others, maybe . . . ?) Without the possibility of getting gas (who's going to drive a truck into the death zone??) the prices are going to rise considerably.

In the city of Lakey, gas prices are $10 in the morning after the Haze set and $20 by the time Orion starts her trek home.

Why the riots? Are people not willing to pay more when the supply is rapidly draining? There are 33,180 people in Lakey--and the local gas station has about 6,000 gallons of gas. There aren't too many gas stations, probably about seven or eight. But let's pretend there's ten (to be safe). There are then 60,000 gallons of gas. That's about 2 gallons per person. With everybody evacuating, they're going to want more than 2 for every person in the car. Not with their SUV's.

Why should people expect that gas prices would stay the same? Because it's the same gas as it was before the Haze. It costs the same.

There were riots in 14 major cities on the West Coast. This was published in the last edition of Lakey Times. Not all the cities were names, but they included Seattle, Portland and Los Angles.

Stay tuned! More about the Haze tomorrow! (Or tonight, if I get out of school early enough.)

Why They Don't Swear

I learned why the guys at work won't swear in front of me today. In etiquette, it is not proper to swear in front of a "lady" (and I do suppose that I am one of those). My uncle got fired for that. And I do suppose that it's why I only swear in the heat of the moment (eg, road rage) or in the parking lot when no one's around. However, since I wrote that post, my words are now "darn" and "heck" instead of the usual.

Except if you pull in 30 minuets to quitting time, leave your truck on my wash rack assuming I have nothing better to do than spend the next hour and a half washing it. (It was a big truck!) Needless to say, I did an extreamly bad job. And I had been having another bad day. (Not as bad as the last, but more spread out.)

More on my story tomorrow morning!

Guess Who's in Charge Today?

Both Harry and Brian are going to be gone today. Yea! Unfortaintly, this will make my breaks seem really long . . . But both Jim and Becky are going to be there at lunch.

Yesterday was my first day of school. It was okay. There are 13 people in my class.

The final names for my story are:

• Orion, the hunter
• Rider, the farmer
• Presley, the priest/guard
• Tannis, the tanner
• Tessa, the gatherer
• Galena, the healer

Theorically, about nine people should have survived the Haze, but I guess the others were killed in a riot when oil rose to $10 a galleon. (In the same day it rose to $20 a galleon, but that's because it was in such high demand. People fleeing the city.)

This is a picture of the Haze rolling in. (Actually, I have no idea what it's a picture of. But it looks like the Haze rolling in.)

End of the World Survival

Now that I'll have time to write my stories while my professor is dragging on about music, I've been doing some reasearch on surving the end of the world. Some things I've written down:

• Good things to keep on hand included canned ham, spam, dark tuna and sardines.
• Also, canned vegetables and fruits. Dried fruits are also good.
• Potato chips, pretzles, popcorn and candy bars
• Always have a manuel can opener
• Canned foods don't go bad, however, they will lose tast, texture and nutritional value.
• Honey (which keeps for a long time) can replace sugar.

Also, I've been working on names for my characters. I kinda want names that descibe what it is they do.

Prestly, Gideon, Rider, Tannis, Orion, Tessa, Sagittarius, and Atlanta are all ideas. Orion, Sagittarius, and Atlanta are all ideas for one character. Tell me which one you like best!

What Serial Kiler Are You?

If i was a serial killer i would be Lizzy Borden. Lizzy Borden, not by definition a serial killer, but a notorious killer nonetheless. One day as her father was napping on the living room sofa Lizzy Borden took an axe and hit her father's head with it repeatedly some where around 40 times, completely disfiguring his face into an unrecognizable mess of blood and gore. Almost immediately after Lizzy attacked her mother in her bedroom, again hitting her head with an axe over 40 times. Lizzie Borden took an axe, And gave her father forty whacks. And when she saw what she had done, She gave her mother forty-one. kill count: 2 Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now!

TGIF: Thank God it's Five

I had an interesting day at work. You can laugh at most of it, but not until tomorrow when my face isn't red anymore. (Red out of anger, not embarrasement.)

But first the stuff you can laugh at. A conversation I had today with a co-worker, narrated by myself:

After a sudden 15-minute dissapearace at 1105 people start to get suspous.

Co-worker (CW): Where were you?
Me: Oh, I was . . . uh . . . (looks around for someplace to have been) . . . in my car. Getting . . . my, uh . . . (looks around for something have gotten) gum.
CW: No, you weren't.
Me: I was.
CW: Where's your gum?
Me: Oh, it's . . . uh . . . (looks around. After all, the gum I saw was in the trash.) I must have forgotten it.
CW: (laughs) Where were you, off the record?
Me: I was using the restroom.
CW: Over in the main building? (Which is about three times the distance of the actual nearest bathroom) Why not use the shop one?
Me: Well, I like the soap better.

The second funny story happened in the lunchroom. Well, not really, but the event that inspired me to write this did. It was after lunch that I really thought about it. All the guys at work (and I mean ALL the guys) have a habit of not swearing in front of me. Why, I wonder? Is it because I don't swear in front of them, or because I'm a girl? (I think it's a mix of the two). When they do swear, they often apologize. In fact, one guy apologizes when he thinks that he used a foul word. Today, my supervisor was talking about some group of "sons of guns" but that's not what he said. At least not at first. He got out about four letters worth of the word he wanted (but I won't repete, so use your imagination). Then he changed it.

Why is this funny? If he heard some of the words I use while driving city vehicals and wandering around the parking lot (where residents can hear me) he would be suprised. I was muttereing something about our darn trunk being moved by a police officer when I remembered the "sons of guns." Then I laughed.

But the day basically was Khibi. After all this, I went to City Hall to get truck 450 (number has been changed). I couldn't find it. I looked in four parking lots near the Hall. Then I went in to get the number to call my supervisor. I figured that I jinxed it. I had told him that if the truck wasn't there I would just not come back. He laughed, said okay, and as I turned to leave he mentioned that if the truck wasn't there I should call him.

So of course it wasn't there. He told me to check the police parking lot. And where was it? The police parking lot of course!

But there's more!

The key wasn't in the truck. Normally, we hide it so that it won't get stolen (if you want to steal it, I'd think again. It's a really bad truck. It's not even worth much money. That's why we didn't sell it in the auction.) So I asked the police, who sent me to the secretaries who sent me to public works and so on. Nobody knew who had the key (well, I knew who, but nobody knew where she was).

So I had to call Harry again. He thought it was so funny. And tomorrow, when I tell Brian (who left early for a dentist appointment) I'll think it's funny too.

Today was a day to come home to a vodka. Unfortainatly, I'm too young, so I promised my supervisor that I'd have a double root beer. I didn't. I had a double cream soda.

Some Thoughts from the Local Churches

*Ahem* Now that I am once again going by the local church on a regular basis (ie twice daily) I thought I might tell you some of the things their sign board says.

The most importaint things in your house are people

And, my favorite,

God's last name is not damn

I have a habit of muttering something like that when driving work vehicals down the street. Too bad I'm not worried about offending him.

Happy September Twelvth

And happy birthday to me.

What God has to say About Praying to Khibi

I talked to god today. No, I'm not crazy. He's on-line all the time. I IM him. Today, I asked him about Khibi. It was tiring, but here's what he had to say:

Me:
is it okay if I pray to khibi?
God:
Maybe. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
who's paola?
God:
She is a Spanish language chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
i dont speak spanish
God:
Me either.
Me:
but you talk to paola?
God:
I talk to a lot of people on the Internet.
Me:
even sanna
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
that weren't a question. but back to khibi
God:
Yes, let us get back to business.
Me:
is it okay to pray to a demon?
God:
It could be. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
who is iniaes?
God:
Iniaes is a chat robot based on AIML. Oh yeah, we were talking about khibi.
Me:
yes, is it okay to pray to him
God:
I understand. Signs point to yes.
Me:
even if he's a demon?
God:
I don't follow your reasoning.
Me:
is it okay to pray to a demon
God:
Maybe. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
what--don't you know?
God:
I will try to find out.
Me:
you don't KNOW?
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
i thought you knew everything

God says all kinds of intresting things--like what color his sundress is (green). Did you want to talk to god? Follow this link!

Stormcloud

It's the End of the World

Anyway, my thread in TBH is going rather slowly. Stormy just asked Ebony (the herbalist) what, exactly, they're looking for. She can picture it: a small green plant with leaves.

In other news, I've been working on another story. It's not new, it's recycled. About after the end of the world, which we are currently living in. The time of the HAZE.

What is the HAZE? I have absolutly no idea. It's stuff that is green and fills the air, like one of the mazes in Mario 64. Remember that? Except it's not in a sewer, it's outside. It moves like tides, except that instead of a couple of times daily, it comes in every month, around the full moon.

It's measured in 'clicks.' Ten clicks isn't very bad at all, but 30 will make you sick. Beyond 30? It's hard to say. No one has survived.

Stormy's Cold

Both Moonlight and the healer are going to look for weeds with Stormy and Ebony. Stormcloud almost complained, because even a cub could find enough of the plant before the cold spread. And she doesn't need a babysitter!

But luckly Stormcloud's exhausted, and wants a nap, so she figures that it will happed sooner with four elves.