Nano Nightmare

No, really. You can have those.

I had this dream that I was talking to my Grandma, and for absolutly no reason I asked her what the date was. She nonchalantly said, "Novemeber 3o."

I totally freaked out. "What? Noooooo! I haven't started my novel yet!"


And, compleatly 100% unrated, I was doing this writing thing about Kiara, and I suddenly thought, wouldn't it be weird if she grew up to be the Changer, the person from the future who comes back to guide Ace's tribe. What would the implications of that be?

First of all, K's not a shape-changer, she's a jinker. But then again, maybe in the future it doesn't matter. Maybe they have every power they could ever want.

Coming back, and gaurding a tribe you're part of, wouldn't that cause a paradox? Like if Changer touched Kiara wouldn't they explode?

Oh well, it doesn't matter one way or another. The story's not about Kiara. Maybe in the sequal, though.

Disney Songs, Pt 3

Finally, the part we've all been waiting for, The Little Mermaid. (Remember, I was watching this so I could be a good aunt.)

So there's this song in there that I'm sure everyone's heard, I think it's called "Kiss the Girl" but I could be wrong. Now, I'm not a big fan of kissing, but I was right there cheering Prince Eric on, telling him to hurry up and do it.

But that's besides the point. This is about me, not Prince Eric. What a jerk he was.

Anyway, in that song, there's this brilliant (IMO, anyway) line that says something like,

Yes, you want her, look at her, you know you do
It's possible she wants you too, there is one way to ask her

I wonder if this is something we should really be teaching our kids.

This leads me to think about Groundhog's Day. (I know: random). I wish I could get caught in a time loop. I know exactly what I would do. I won't say, though. It relates to the song, though. That's why I thought about it. In a time loop, there would be no consiquences.

Disney Songs, Pt 2

Tarzan's another good one. There are lots of little moments in the songs that I like.

Last weekend I bought the broadway CD, even though I've never seen it. (Of course, I made my niece watch the Disney version. I held her through all the scary parts, and she thought I was being weird. She sat with me through the whole movie, and the rest of the weekend all she wanted to do was watch "Parzan.")

Way to get off subject. So this CD has a couple new songs that I like, paspecially As Sure as Sun Turns to Moon and I Need to Know. Of course, I totatally twist them into meaning something else.

In the song Different they have this part that goes:

My heart is beating faster, I must know more about her.
There something strange that draws me nearer
She's nothing like I've seen before
She makes me feel so alive.

We all know who makes me feel alive. I can't believe they would put this love stuff in children's movies. But of course, it's all innocent, so I can relate to it.

(OCC: I was just thinking that I could do this for every song in my collection. Post the one line I like best. It could be my pre nano project. Just think how many words I've typed already today. Besides, Daniel really likes music. I'm sure he'd keep a folder full of songs and what they mean to him. I could write them up for him during Nano for word padding!)

Disney Songs

I was going to post this yesterday, so I could have three posts in one day, but the site was down, so here it is now. (Maybe I'll post three times today to make up for it, but I actually have stuff to do.)

Last night, I was watching The Little Mermaid (not because I wanted to watch it, but I had to make sure it wasn't too scary for my niece to watch. I'm a cool aunt like that; sacraficing an hour and something of my time to make sure she doesn't have nightmares. *LST*)

Anyway, I was struck, not for the first time, by how clever some of the lyrics are, and what they're teaching young children.

The first was from The Lion King, the song ... I think it's from Can you Feel the Love Tonight. I was listening to John Barrowman sing it while I was stuck in traffic in Seattle, and a line caught my attention. Are you ready for this?

There's a time for everyone, if they only learn
That the twisting kalidescope moves us all in turn.

I can really relate to that. I won't say how, 'cause people tend to get mad at me. But anyway, that just struck me in the face.

Kiara's Nano Novel

I plan on having Kiara do Nanowrimo in my novel. But since she's been raised by Ace in a post disapearance time, hers is a little different ...

“Oh, Slightly!”

“Oh, Charlie!”

“We have the weirdest names in the world.”

“Well, you do. Charlie’s not that weird.”

“It’s weird for a girl.”

“I’m a girl?”

“…”

Then Ace comments:

Ace looked up at her niece. “That’s the love scene?”

“Yeah! Isn’t it cool, Mom? The way they get along?”

The woman paused for a moment. “Um, I don’t see the part where they get along.”

“Oh, Slightly!” Kiara quoted dramatically. “Oh, Charlie!”

“And is Charlie a boy, then?”

“No, she’s an android. Like you.”

Misguided

It just reminds me why I write stuff here. So people far away from me know more about my life than my mother.

Who was really funny yesterday. My boss had yelled at me several times for the same thing, so my mom asked if I was doing okay. I was like, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Of course, everybody in the office knows I cry a lot.

Well, I was going through this thing with SW that was making me feel really bad (not my boss, I just shrugged her off, I have better things to worry about). So I took out a pen and drew red lines on my arm. Which I proceeded to show off to all my friends, telling them it was cool.

My mom freaked. She's like, "Did you cut yourself???" really loud. Toasty reminded her that not everybody in the office is "privilaged enough" to know about that. I don't know if she realizes it's only been 64 days (or something like that). OR (get ready for this) maybe she reads this too, and knows more about my life than I do! (She probably does anyway, she's a mother.)

Hello World

Many exciting things are going on in my life:

• It's day 63 (I don't really keep track, it's just nice to be able to say that.)
• I have a girlfriend, with really cute hair.
• There's an AVEN meetup in Portland that I'm not going to.

Hey, SW, I wanted to let you know that having a girlfriend doesn't change how I feel about you.

Update

Maybe I should have two seperate blogs: one for whatever, and one for Nano. I will have to think about it.)

Last night, I went off on a writing spree, about what's happening in my life, and why I couldn't tell people how I feel. I came up with this:

It lead me to believe this: if I tell people that I'm dating a girl, they'll think I'm a lesbian. So what if I end up marrying [a boy]? What will other's think?

And then:

Okay, do you want to know the real reason? I"m afraid if I tell people I'm gay, they'll say, "No, you're not."

Because, like, Crazytalk, Red wasn't enough. I'm not curious, or questioning. I know how I feel.

That's why. If I said that, people would tell me I'm confused. That I'm just saying that because of my gay friends. Which is untrue. I can still remember the exact moment I thought "oh my god, I'm a lesbian." I felt so guilty, that how I felt was wrong despite my friends.

Nanowrimo '06

Like last year, I'm doing a post apocalypse story. But this year, instead of worrying about how everybody dies, I'm just going to make the majority of the world vanish. *POOF*

I've already posted a little about this story, it's still going to be called Life Interrupted. But it's way different. They're going to spend the novel trying to figure out what happened.

But the theme of the novel is relationships, as in 'how people relate to each other.'

Starring Ace Knuuttila, and Jack Jabbora. Ace is asexual, and Jack is a (to put it nicely) 'playa,' and yet, they still have a wonderful relationship due to something called "compromise." At least until Jack brings Daniel home. Ace doesn't particualarly care (she's open to open relationships) but boy, does Daniel. He feels like he has to compete with Ace. He's kind of dramatic.

There's also Quessenberry and Dr. R. The doctor leaves his wife and two children because he just can't "deal" with the situation. Quess goes on raising her kids. She's pretty stoic.

Ah, yes, and Changer. I don't know much about her, except that she's a big, scary dog. She might not even make it into the story.

Another Note To SW

You know, I'm having a hard time telling my parents that I'm like girls.

It doesn't make sense. Both of them, on compleatly seperate occasions without the other around, have told me that it's okay for me to date girls, that they would support me either way. (Boy, was I shocked.) Obviously, they suspect it, and have no problems with it.

I still can't just say it though, even if it wouldn't be compleatly random to bring up. I don't want to lie, but ...

Honestly, I think the best time to tell them would be if I'm actually dating someone and we're "together" (or whatever the word is). Otherwise, what does it matter?